Lost my smile

I am so exhausted. Today is Day 10 of 11 days of work without a day off. And today I have to work both jobs - 12 hours.

And this is pretty much where my brain is...

I hate meal planning and calorie counting.

I hate food. Except potato chips. And Cadbury eggs.

I hate all my clothes.

I have nothing to wear on Easter Sunday.

My body shape is just so totally wrong for skirts. They camouflage my best part - my legs - and accentuate my worst part - my tummy - so I look like a shapeless blob.

I hate that all skirts are designed as though your waist is like 20 inches smaller than your hips. I have no freakin' waist, you stupid designer people!

I feel fat.

I just want to be skinny right freakin' NOW.

I hate having PCOS.

I need new bras and I'm pissed that I'm not a size that allows me to just dash into WalMart and get one for like $10.

I hate my hair.

I hate all the marriage equality debating on facebook. Narrow-minded bigoted "Christians" annoy the crap out of me.

I hate winter.

I hate that in Ohio winter lasts for like 9 *&^%# months.

I hate working all the time and still being poor.

I hate feeling exhausted and pessimistic and defeated.

Friday. I'm just gritting my teeth and holding on 'til Friday when I'll have (at least) two days off. (Hopefully my manager at Job #2 doesn't schedule me on Sunday so I can have a FOUR DAY WEEKEND.) I need to refocus and find my smile again.